I think forgiveness came when I realized just how human she was. When I realized that I had done thinks unimaginable, made unforgivable mistakes and stepped outside of my character when tested. I spent my entire life holding her on a pedestal. She was the only woman I had to look up to. She showed me right from wrong. In my mind, she was incapable of making mistakes, incapable of hurting me. But she did. And when she did, my thoughts and feelings felt an indescribable blow. Everything I thought I knew because uncertainty and the standard I held her to disintegrated.
I think forgiveness came when I realized I still needed her. And that although she did me wrong, I still wanted her available to me. For the times that I, like her, made a mistake. Living a perfect life is impossible. And I can not blame my mother for being imperfect. Now I know I’m imperfect as well. We all have lacks of judgements, moments of naiivity… We are human.